Despite my rather flamboyant appearance and how I may seem in small groups of both known and unknown company, I am actually fairly shy. My theatrical training and witty sarcasm usually carry me pretty far when I feel out of my element, but truth be told, I'm pretty much an introvert.
So I'm going to ask you all going to the conference or who happen upon this blog because you snagged my card or whatever to do me a favor.
Say hi to me.
If you see me passing through a hallway looking pissed off (I'm not, I just have Chronic Bitchface!) or wandering around the tables at meal times (not going to lie, that whole Birds of a Feather lunch is already giving me ulcers of anxiety) or just sitting by myself attached to a device, say hello to me.
(Of note: I'm a little hard of hearing and I'm terrible with names and faces, so bear with me.)
Last year, one of the things that overwhelmed me the most was cycle of introduction. The thought of having to ask a table of strangers who all seem to be getting along just fine together if the chair with all the bags on it is taken (and hear that it is, and move on with my plate of food, and try again, and again, while I try not to cry from my blood sugar dropping and the middle school feelings of outcastedness bubbling up) still makes me choke up and want to stay home from school. I tried really hard and I think about 50% of the time pulled off being friendly and good (albeit temporary) company but the rest of the time, as you may or may not know, I was an effing wreck.
In all honesty, I'm like that here at home, too. I don't like going places where I won't already know people who will willingly hang out with me. I get awkward and insecure super quick.
I also very recently was burned when I branched out and impulsively tried something new, (overconfident! out of my element! misunderstood all the social cues!) so. Fresh wounds.
So if you know me through this blog, or Twitter, or wherever, flag me down and say hey. I promise I'm friendly and I usually talk a lot to hide my general anxiety about being anywhere other than my house and wearing anything other than old yoga shorts and a tank top and that results in me cracking a lot of jokes, so at least I'll make you giggle, maybe?
My sanity and my self esteem would greatly appreciate it.