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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

I Ramble When I'm Tired.

Hello! Just a friendly reminder that I'm going to be migrating my RSS feed here soon so if you'd like to keep up on this trainwreck I call a life, click here!
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This is going to be ranty.

But not that kind of ranty.

I'm tired. I have A LOT going on right now. I'm drowning in government paperwork and glittery tulle and scrambling to find grocery money and babysitters and trying to keep everything straight all of the time and goddamn, it just never seems to stop or slow down or anything ever at all. Right when I think I'll get a break, a week without much to to BAM! Completely overscheduled and underfunded.

And then my computer got a virus (which is why I didn't post anything on Turn Right yesterday lest I spread it but lo, today my antivirus finally caught it and I could return to my now belated multi-internetting enterprises.

To this day, I am so thankful I dated a hacker because if anything, I know what to do to control a virus until my antivirus can catch up.

I keep having religious people and political activists show up at my front door and I can't say no to any of them because I'm too tired and when I'm this tired I default to passive kindness because that's all I want extended towards me, towards my family, which means my precious free(ish) time is being taken up by all kinds of crap I don't give a hoot about but I'm just so tired, I can't be mean even though I know it's not mean to have disagreeing opinions, I just can't shut the door in someone's face, I can't.

The neighbors across the street who wanted us to babysit for them have disappeared. The house they told me they were going to buy now has a new "For Sale By Owner" sign up on it. Six people just vanished. Kyle says this is normal in this area and for this socioeconomic level, but I keep thinking about those kids, who were good kids, that now I'll never see again. It's so strange to me it's disturbing.

I think one of the cats has pink eye. I don't even know if that's possible. Or contagious to humans. My default anxiety says yes to both.

I'm just so tired, you guys. I have all these stories in my head that I intend to write, here, to share because I like sharing with you, but by the time I finally have time to do things for myself in the evening, all I want to do is sleep, or actually talk to my husband since we've mostly been just passing each other as he comes home from late meetings and I go off to class or to the eighteen different things I'm working on for other people, so routine now that the kids just look up and say "Buh-bye, Mommy, wuv woo" as they dismissively wave in my direction, and that breaks my heart a little more than it should.

Anyway. I should tell you that tomorrow I'll have a post up for the BlogHer Book Club where I got to read a porny book. I think grown-ups call it erotica, but you know, I've been calling it a porny book because really, that's what it is, minus the pictures.

So that should be exciting. You should come back tomorrow and read that, as it will be far more succinct and continuously coherent thought. Unless you're related to me and don't want to know things you can't unknow about me once you know them.

Basically, I'm going to be talking about sex and subcultures and so on and I just don't want to scar anyone.

But that's tomorrow. Right now, as it's just barely midnight as I'm writing this, I'm to bed.

In a non-sexy way.