I know, sounds dramatic, right?
Of course, you all know that I'm no stranger to Sephora, so the title of this post may be just a wee bit confusing to you. When you're living on a strict budget and working hard on getting your finances in order, you give up things like buying skincare and makeup at the fancy store and you go back to Target and Meijer and just carefully ration out what you have left of the nice stuffs for special occasions and you dream of the day where you can more than window shop again. Because that's what responsible grown-ups do and there are more important things in life than the brand on a mascara tube, by far.
Oh, and then bless my brother.
He got me a stupid generous gift card to Sephora for my birthday back in February, and it took me nearly a month to spend it because, honestly, I was overwhelmed. The possibilities of purchasing were so vast that I was completely intimidated by stepping foot in store, afraid I'd blow it on crap I didn't need or a ton of trendy impulse purchases that were all wrong for me that I just stayed as far away as I could for quite some time.
But last weekend I went for gusto. I had some returns I had to do in the same mall as Sephora, so I threw that little mirrored compact card holder in my bag and went for it.
Now, here's a confession -- since having Tova a year and a half ago, my skin has not been awesome. Admittedly, it's never been awesome -- I was on Accutane for longer than is medically recommended and I STILL had to use topical stuffs and use very specific products to have only minimal breakouts -- but it had come to a place of tolerance for me and that was fine. I was breakout city with Kiedis' pregnancy, yet not long after I stopped trying to nurse him things cleared up, if you will.
Not so with Tova. I've just not been able to get my skin to agree that I'm 28 years old instead of 14 in the throes of puberty.
I was lamenting this fact a while back while in the presence of several women, one of whom was a makeup artist, and she very magnanimously gave me her secrets for her envy-worthy porcelain skin. I held on to her pearls of wisdom and decided that I was going to dry my damnedest to get what I needed for better skin at Sephora -- because let's face it, all the make up in the world won't do you a bit of justice if your face is a wreck of breakouts and splotches and whatnot. And I, for one, don't want to cake eighteen layers of goop on to only minimize the damage. I'd rather have, dare I say it, NICE skin and work with what I can find laying around makeup wise.
So. In I went with a mission.
And my life was changed. All because my little brother was super generous and considerate with giving me a birthday present that was truly for me, and not just something that I'd end up using on the kids or Kyle or the house, although I love being able to do those things as well.
I discovered the most amazing face wash ever on the face of my life. I seriously can wash my face only once a day with this stuff and already my skin is so much clearer, even, and less pore-tastic.Which is super awesome because honestly, I'm lucky to wash my face once a day. Hell, I'm lucky to shower every day.
It's fantastic and I could kiss that makeup artist full on the mouth, with maybe even a little tongue. That's how strongly I feel about this face wash. She's also a very pretty lady, so that helps that mental image.
When you spend a lifetime always trying to cover up your imperfections and flaws and hear endless advice from people about what you're doing wrong to your face even though you have a small army of doctors and pills and creams and elimination diets behind you all trying to work some sort of sorcery upon you all while you just feel unfit to be seen in public because you're so ashamed of something you have no control over, finding something like this, that works for me and my life and allows me to not want to shellac myself every time I leave the house, it's ... liberating. Soul mending.
So I'm sorry for the kind of light frilly posts recently -- but you know, once you start feeling comfortable in your own skin, you really want to celebrate that. I'm learning to love myself for probably the first time ever, and maybe it doesn't always have to be heavy and dark around here.
And, if you're curious, I did get some fun stuff too -- but we can talk makeup another day.